Gyaru katamari - the orange apocalypse is nigh (and hilarious)
Ha. Was flicking through Memoirs of a Gaijin when I found a reference to a comment I left on YongFook a while ago about an idea for a game.
You decide to create a product that will relieve everyone’s tension based on a comment made on Jon Yongfook’s website referring to an imaginary video game called Gyaru Katamari. It’s an inspired plan to combine the Katamari Damarcy junk-collecting gameplay mechanic with a charisma man attracting the fake-tanned Japanese high school fashion vistims known as “gyaru” (a Japanese bastardisation of the English word “girl”). You can see it now: high-speed, puirkura booth-style music, hair clips and fake eyelashes left suspended in mid-air as the largely oblivious gyaru is bundled into a sweaty ball of like-”minded” Ronseal abusers and is blinded by running eyeliner before she can mumble “nanjakorya?”
You’d buy it.
Then I had a horrible image of a struggling mass of orangle bodies being clipped by one of Tokyo’s legendarily negligent taxi drivers to hurtle screaming into one of the barely-flowing effluent traps this city calls rivers. A couple are thrown clear, only to explode against a nearby wall. A Dulux employee duly snaps away, seeing bonuses galore for creating “Burnt Cinnamon”, this season’s exciting new colour sensation.
Enough self-congratulatory blog stroking.
Besides, I liked the GTA conversion idea better.
Or a GTA-style game where I play a chinpira who can doink schoolgirls in dark corners, taunt slow police from a slightly less slow scooter and most importantly run over slow-walking people, “obaachan” who push in the train queue and toddlers with shoes that squeak when they walk. You decide you’ll get working on the textures. Jon can do… the rest.
This sounds like an idea with legs!
- Marketing Steve, J-Pod, Douglas Coupland
Maybe I should do it for my masters dissertation.
Tags: Blog, chimpira, god help me i'm so bored, gyaru, japan, memoirs of a gaijin, yongfook